Technology too much for should-have-been pioneer woman

Published 10:48 am Tuesday, March 28, 2017

You know what? I really do not like all this technology stuff.

Not that long ago, a telephone was something that sat on your table. If you had a call, it rang, you answered, you talked and you hung up. Period.

The same in reverse — you wanted to talk to your mom, so you simply dialed her number, talked hung up. No buttons to push, no leaving a message and no plugging it in at night to recharge the darn thing. That was it!

I remember thinking that putting the phone on the wall was a wild concept.

Today I argued with a tech lover and he said how wonderful the new stuff was. As he said, “If I need something fixed, I just take the little fix out of my pocket, call the “fixer” and an appointment is set pronto.”

Well shoot, so we had to wait for stuff, so what?

I have a smart phone. My family thought I would love it. Maybe I would if I could ever remember what all the buttons are for. Every night I am supposed to to recharge it by putting a little metal thing at the end of a cord into a little tiny slit in the phone.

I have Macular Degeneration, so that slit is almost impossible to see. Plus, I just plain forget to do it. I don’t really care. So what if it goes dead the next day? Who cares?

Last night, just before going to bed, I sleepily grabbed the phone and cord and tried to put the little metal thing into the tiny slit on the phone. It would not budge.

I tried over and over again to connect the two, and then the strangest thing happened. As I tried again, a male voice said, “Hello.”

Now, I had not called one soul. He kept saying “Hello,” but when I said “Hello” back, he could not hear me talk. Oh, for crying in the sink!

I apologized to the mystery voice but what I said began to sound really strange as I tried to explain this mess. Shoot, he could not hear me anyway. Actually, what I was doing was just trying to recharge my phone, but could not get it to work. Anyway, I do not know how I called this man since I did not call anybody.

Totally confused and frustrated, I pushed all the buttons on the phone, hoping it would disconnect us. It, thankfully, did.

After a few unladylike words, it hit me. I had the wrong cord!

I was trying to fit the recharge cord for my iPad into the phone and it, of course, wouldn’t work.

When I saw my mistake, I quickly grabbed the right cord and it went right in that little slit in the phone.

But, you see, before technology, we had no such problem and we got along just fine. You know, I think I would have been a great pioneer woman!

The view from the mountains is wondrous.

P.S. Really, how did that man come on the line when I did not call anybody? It’s beyond me.