Being sick can be a ‘pain in the rear’

Published 11:38 am Tuesday, June 20, 2017

You know how long I was in the hospital and rehab? Well, during those six weeks I was either flat in bed or sitting in a chair.

Do you know what happens when you sit or lie for that long?

I came home with a “wound” on my rear end. That’s what happened when I didn’t move off my bum.

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Now, when I use the word “wound” you wouldn’t think much of it. I mean, it’s about the size of a quarter I think, though I can’t really see it.

But baby, let me tell you, it hurts like fire every time I sit on it, and sitting on it can’t be avoided if you want to sit in a chair. It feels like I want to jump out of my skin.

Then, there is sleeping. I have to lie propped on my back with my head high in order to breath. Try avoiding lying on that “wound” in that position.

Finally, we bought a pillow. It is thick with a hole in the backside and that hole is where the “wound” is supposed to go. That is well and good but sometimes during the night I move, and the wound moves out of the hole.

There is a happy ending to this little true story.

The nurse comes three times a week and tells me it’s better every time. She said, “Just keep putting the thick cream on it every time you go to the bathroom.” Then she said I could stop this application as long as the “wound” continues to heal and not hurt. So I’m making progress caring for something I can’t see and barely reach.

Oh, and guess what? When I first came home, the doctor said I would be blessed if I healed anywhere close to where I was before getting sick.

Well, today, the nurse and the doctor said in another two weeks I’d be close to where I was. Working, exercising, all of this has surely paid off.

Don’t forget if you have to sit or lie on your back for long periods of time at least get a pillow with a hole in the back an try to walk.

A “wound” on your rear end is no fun, and nobody is willing to sympathize and say, “Sorry about your painful rear end.”

Jean Brody is a passionate animal lover and mother. She previously lived in Winchester, but now resides in Littleton, Colorado. Her column has appeared in the Sun for more than 25 years.