By Al Early

Last week I began this series on the power of forgiveness. I talked about not focusing on forgetting, but learning from the sins committed against us. Also, since God commands us to forgive, it is something we can do by choice. When we choose to forgive we begin the healing process that unleashes freedom in our lives, and destroys bitterness. That is what I want to write about today.

God gives us the choice to forgive others or hold onto offenses, but He makes it clear that there are great benefits associated with choosing to forgive, and there are terrible consequences to choosing to hold grudges. We read in Mark 11:26, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (cf. Matthew 5:23-24; 6:14-15). Jesus is building on his Jewish roots which we see in Psalm 23:5a, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” God is preparing this table so we can fix that relationship, and be free of offense.

I remember I was hurt by two friends in college. To this day I consider it one of my most painful experiences of betrayal in my life. For years I struggled with what had happened, how they took no responsibility for what they did, and the lives that were negatively affected by their actions. They didn’t know I was hurt. They didn’t know I struggled with the losses, and the thing that seemed to add to the pain, they didn’t seem to care about me, or our lost friendship. I knew I needed to forgive, but I was being disobedient to God.

The next thing I want to write about forgiveness is when we forgive we need to live with the consequences of the other person’s sin. I went along for a number of years thinking poorly of these friends, that it was their loss, and that they were the ones that needed to come to me and seek my forgiveness. I refused to live with the consequences of their sin, in my own mind. The fact is, we cannot escape living with the consequences of sins committed against us, so we have a choice to do so in the bondage of bitterness or freedom of forgiveness (insights taken from Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson, pp. 221, c. 2000, Harvest House Publishers). I realized they were never going to ask for forgiveness, and finally I got tired of the bitterness. Yes, it is unfair that we have to live with other people’s sins.

Life is not fair, and God gives us a way out. I remember praying, “Dear Lord, I forgive these friends for what they did, and I give this betrayal and these friends to you. They don’t owe me anything, and I ask you to bless them. Amen.” Suddenly, a weight was removed from my heart, and the healing began immediately. The bitterness vanished quickly, freedom replaced it, and God helped me see my friends in a whole new way without bitterness. I never forgot the sins committed against me because I learned so much from the experience, and it has helped me minister to others who are experiencing betrayal.

It reminds me of the greatest example of betrayal in human history, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. His disciple Judas betrayed him, His strongest disciple, Peter, denied Him, and the rest of the disciples ran away. Then the people He was sent to save crucified him. To these sins of betrayal, abandonment, and violence Jesus responded with “Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If Jesus can take on the consequences of our sins, we can have the courage to take on the consequences of those who sin against us. It is the only way to bring healing, and be set free from the power of sin.

What is the worst sin that has ever been committed against you? How does the sin you experienced compare to the sin Jesus experienced? Have you accepted the consequences of their sin, and forgiven that person? If not, what keeps you from forgiving? If Jesus can forgive all humanity for their sins for all time, what keeps you from forgiving the people that have hurt you? Only bitterness lies ahead for those who will not forgive. I pray you will be obedient to God, forgive, and experience freedom.

To find out more about Al Earley or read previous articles, see www.lagrangepres.com.