When you’re topless at 60, a sense of humor is priceless

Published 8:37 am Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Did you know there is a topless bar in North Carolina? It’s no average topless bar, though I’m not sure what an average topless bar is like.

What makes this one unique is that all of the waitresses there are more than 60 years old.

Now, just think about that for a moment. I know many women older than 60 and it’s pretty funny to imagine any of them working in a topless bar and maybe doing all of the extra business on the side.

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That’s not all either. They pole dance! The star pole dancer is 80 years old. When asked by a newspaper reporter what her secret was she answered, “Vicks vapor rub.”

She said she put it all over the pole to help her slide and it also helped her to breathe. Now that is really funny to me.

Shoot, being the kind of woman I am, I applaud the idea that there is such a place and there are women free enough to work there.

In fact, it gives me a feeling of security just knowing if I ever have to go to work, maybe they would offer me a job.

I’m just kidding, but just because a woman gets older does not mean she automatically becomes a quiet, unadventurous little thing.

Most of us will still kick up our heels as long as we possibly can no matter how much it hurts our arthritic joints.

If we were fun and active and a little daring when young, chances are these qualities will follow us to old age, even if it’s just in our minds and memories.

I know I have never been a prude and I still am not, life is not all prissy and pure and serious and I know if I can find humor in every day, then I will applaud it and laugh.

Case in point, I remember one time going to Mayo Clinic. Part of a woman’s routine checkup there is an X-ray and then a mammogram.

Every so often a nurse would come to the waiting room and call the names of maybe 15 women at a time to follow her. She led us to these little cubicles where we were to change into these lovely gowns that snap at the back of the neck. The rest was open.

Then we were told to open the door of the cubicles and stand there until we were called to get our test done.

Now, stay with me here. You have to visualize this.

There we were — 15 women in their flimsy revealing gowns, standing by our open doors. That day, all of us were 60 years old and up.

I guess Mayo had to do it that way because of the number of women going through the clinic.

OK, so, I had just that day heard the story on TV about the topless bar in North Carolina. I got to thinking about it when my eyes looked down this very long hallway where 15 women, including me, were just hanging in the doorway.

Nobody was saying a word. Suddenly, and I swear, completely involuntary, I blurted out, “You know what, girls? We look like ladies of the night silently waiting for customers.”

The laughter was loud, contagious, out of place.

It only took a second for everybody to look up and down the hallway and let their imaginations turn a normally tense situation into something hilariously funny.

Nurses and doctors stepped out of their rooms to see what could possibly be so funny. I mean, normally it’s a fairly solemn hall as you can imagine.

But here’s the thing. Once again in my life, I saw laughter and a sense of humor change an awkward and unpleasant situation.

I really believe that maintaining a quick and healthy sense of humor is one of the most important traits a person can have especially as we get older.

Seriously, do you think that bar would hire me?

Really … still kidding.

The view from the mountains is wondrous.

Jean Brody is a passionate animal lover and mother. She previously lived in Winchester, but now resides in Littleton, Colorado. Her column has appeared in the Sun for more than 25 years.