Stang: On love and trust
Published 9:08 am Friday, May 18, 2018
Love trusts. One of the most central themes in the Bible is that love finds a way to trust. The apostle Paul outlines this truth in 1 Corinthians 13:6.
To be candid with you, I really don’t have much of a reason to be trusting. Trusting God… yes. I have seen Him move the mountains in my life. He has been found faithful again and again. Trusting people… not so much. It feels like that has backfired one too many times.
People are challenging. In fact, at times, they can be down right horrible. There are times when they are rude. There are times when they make hurtful comments. There are times when the only reliable thing about people is that they are unreliable in how they treat other people.
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So, tell me again, why does love always trust?
If we are called to love, I know this to be true: trusting is costly. It requires we abandon our sense of control and place ourselves in a vulnerable position — a position with no guaranteed result.
There isn’t any certainty someone will match our level of commitment, kindness or faithfulness in a relationship.
Trusting other people exposes us to feelings of shame, fear and rejection, particularly when our level of trust is not reciprocated.
So what do we do?
As Brene` Brown (professor and New York Times best-selling author) puts it, “we must challenge ourselves to numb the feelings of vulnerability.”
Our tendency is to minimize the risks. That’s only natural.
That’s why our past hurts and previous heartaches prevent us from forging new relationships. It is the exact reason we have barriers and find ourselves so guarded.
However, the thing about the barriers we set up in our lives is they are also the very things that prevent us from experiencing the richness of life.
One might argue while vulnerability can bring about feelings of fear and rejection; it is equally true vulnerability is the key to joy, happiness and belonging.
I can say with certainty there will always be a lack of depth in our lives and we will find ourselves standing in shallow waters without practicing the art of vulnerability.
That’s why when Paul addressed the path towards the excellent life in 1 Corinthians, it is one marked by trust.
True love trusts. Not with reckless abandonment but with the belief that we are called to live a better way than isolation and fear.
Trusting other people is a beautiful design for relationships and it is a key characteristic of a healthy, vibrant church community.
But it should give us enough pause to ask, “Where will we get the ability to trust and keep on trusting? Where will we get the power to trust in spite of our past?”
The good news is you are not alone as you journey through your relationships. There is one who showed trust in the father, even when it cost Him dearly.
He wants joy for you. And for that reason, He will give you His presence and peace as you trust others and let the walls down in your life.
My pastoral prayer for you is you would drink deeply of God’s love everyday so you can trust others and experience the richness of life.
Love always trusts.
Tony Stang is the senior pastor at First Baptist Church Winchester. He can be reached at email@example.com.