COLUMNMy dog is smarter than I thought
Published 8:00 am Saturday, October 9, 2021
I have always found it amusing that humans think we rule the world. I was taught in school that this is the case because humans are smarter than the animals around us. All you have to do is take a trip out to a county fair and you will quickly see that this is not the case.
We go through life worrying about things and spend our days working and come home all stressed out only to get up in the morning and do it all over again. I remember the day that I realized that my dog was smarter than I was. I had experienced a stressful day at work and came home wrapped tighter than Fat Albert wearing a tube top only to find my dog stretched out in front of the fireplace looking more mellow than Cheech and Chong. He looked at me as if to say, “Mellow out man”.
I began to think for a moment and realized that I was going about things all wrong. I had fooled myself into thinking that I was the one who was smart in this relationship. If your hanging out and taking it easy while someone brings you your food and cleans up your poo when you don’t feel like going outside then you are indeed the smart one not me. I decided that I should start taking life lessons from my dog and these are the things I learned.
We should never pass up an opportunity to take a joy ride. A ride through the country with no planned destination is the thing that happiness is made from. I should mention that it does not count when I leave the house intending on going to Wal-Mart and end up somewhere else because I forgot where I was going.
I learned that when we see our loved ones, we should take time to tell them how glad we are to see them. This doesn’t mean I have to pretend that I’m happy to see those relatives that only come to visit when they want to borrow something. They still haven’t returned my George Forman Grill and I loved that thing.
I learned that when you want something you should keep digging until you find it. I saw my dog in the backyard digging holes everywhere. After a few minutes, he found the bone he was looking for. I realized then that we should not stop until we find the bone that makes us happy as well.
My dog taught me that if it doesn’t smell right we should stay away from it. Maybe someone should share this with the guy that works three cubicles down from me that puts on his cologne by the bucket. I never knew that skunk and ammonia was a scent of cologne. I guess if I ever pass out they can just waive this guy under my nose to wake me up.
As smart as my dog is, I learned that he doesn’t have all the answers. If he wants something he will just sit and stare at me until I scamper around trying to figure out what it is. I tried this the other day when I was eating at a restaurant. I wanted a refill on my cola and decided to just stare at the waitress until she figured out what I wanted. Strangely enough, this doesn’t work for humans. All you get is a visit from the manger. Who knew? Now, if I can stop peeing on people’s shoes I will have it licked.