Brody: Guilt is too heavy a burden to carry

Recently, I saw a TV program that had a message so powerful it kept me up half the night.

It was a story of a little boy who could not move his legs, nor could he feel them. The problem was the X-ray taken showed nothing that could cause such a problem.

It all started when the little boy witnessed his mother getting shot while the family sat in the hospital ER to get help for him for an infection that would not heal on his leg.

He, in his subconscious, thought it was his fault because had he not been sick, the family would not have been there and his mother wouldn’t have been shot.

All the doctors on staff failed to figure out the connection between his guilt and his condition.

Finally, one doctor, speaking from his own reaction to the shooting, connected the two, both for himself and for the little boy.

He called a meeting and explained it on a personal level.

When the boy understood, the feelings came back into his legs.

The message was blazed in neon to me.

As I studied further, I learned guilt and fear of being unloved can easily paralyze a person. I’ll call it blocking from now on.

The mind is a powerful thing and I believe our minds have the power not only to make us ill or even paralyze us under certain circumstances, but it also has the power to make us well.

Things go wrong in our bodies. Hearts wear out and get rusty.

There are also unnatural invaders such as viruses that wreak havoc.

It has been proven emotions such as guilt, feelings of unworthiness and sustaining anger can make us ill and even kill us.

Dr. Bernie Segal, a cancer surgeon, said there is no way a person can recover from cancer if that person feels unworthy of being well.

Dr. Norman Cousins said if one’s life attitude is negative, he or she will be ill.

Dr. Leo Buscaglia said if hate, anger and self doubt are not replaced with love, we are doomed to illness.

A 15-year-old girl believed if she was sick enough her parents would have to come together to care for her instead of getting a divorce so she became anorexic.

The doctor said without medical and psychological intervention she would have made herself so sick she would die to prove it.

We’re all born innocent and beautiful, but as we grow, we listen to the wrong words. We seek the wrong light. We follow the wrong star.

We all have experienced doing these things and afterwards feeling guilty about it.

Guilt is a heavy load to carry in life. Actually, all negatives are heavy.

Maybe we need White Out to delete the guilt and then replace it with words like grace and faith and joy and forgiveness and love as a gift to yourself.

As soon as he realized it was not his fault his mother was shot, the little boy could walk again.

When one of my best friends called and said she needed to talk with me immediately, I told her how busy I was and asked could we talk next week.

She begged for my time. I was just too busy being a wife, a new mother and a student.

That night she hung herself.

The guilt almost put me in the hospital. I could not even go to her funeral.

I never knew what she wanted from me and I carried this deep guilt and “unworthy to be a friend” belief for 60 years.

I have to believe the past is done and I can’t change it.

I have to know how selfish and shallow I was. I can’t change that either.

As I sit here in my chair, I realized something. I’ll bet you almost every human being all over the world carries guilt around.

They have learned to bury it, learned to feel worthy of good health and substituted negatives for positives. They now can White Out and clear the slate of all the heavy load they have carried, and that includes me.

I’ve learned today how people deal with guilt and how we can rid ourselves of that load.

Why do we burden ourselves carrying such a sad memory? Is it because of what Dr. Bernie Segal discovered? He said, “We cannot survive if we don’t believe we are worthy of good health.”

Do we carry guilt to punish ourselves? Leo Buscaglia fully believes we are worthy of good health and a full happy life.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to believe I’m worthy of good health.

I want to be well on this last part of the circle so I need to rid myself of guilt and all negatives and shine again.

The view from the mountain is wondrous.

Jean Brody is a passionate animal lover and mother. She previously lived in Winchester, but now resides in Littleton, Colorado. Her column has appeared in the Sun for more than 25 years.

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